I spoke to my children over the phone yesterday for the first time in 444 Days.  444 Days I will never get back.  Seems funny now being 444.

The criminal case and all charges were dismissed by the Judge but it definitely wasn’t without difficulties.  It was the Judge’s decision on her own as Family Services had Denied my program in another state though they had previously told me in documented emails that the program I took in another state would be sufficient.  Not sure why Family Services had lied to me or what they were trying to pull, but I don’t really care.  The Judge had final say and she made the correct one.  She told me that Family Services had denied my other program (I was absolutely stunned when she said that) but after I gave her my letter and she read it she said that she would grant the dismissal on her own decision.  Finally, something good happened to me!  Finally, someone in the court system had an actual conscience.  The Protective Order had been lifted.  I could finally speak to my children once again.  I never ran so fast out of a place so fast in my life.  I had to use the restroom after being there 3 hours waiting for my name to be called but I didn’t care to use one there.  I wanted out of that court-house as fast I could so I did.  Never looked back.  I thought that I would turn to stone if I had.

This was the longest punishment I’ve ever had to endure in my life and I’m 38 years old.

They were very emotional phone-calls.  I couldn’t hold it back for them.  I cried so loudly.  The tears flowed for hours even after I had hung up with them.  I’ve never been overcome with so much uncontrollable emotion in my entire life.

My daughter claimed her and my son knew nothing of my arrest last year and the protective order against me barring all contact with them.  She said they thought I had just not wanted to speak to them.  That hurt the most.  That nobody in my ex-wife’s family would tell them the truth.  That none of them would defend me after knowing me for so long.

My ex-wife and her family had hidden all of that information from them.  I’m not sure why.  I guess to make herself look better and me look worse.  I would never do something so hurtful to another human being or to especially someone’s child (my daughter is 19 years old so she’s not a child anymore).

I will not speak to either of them having anything to do with my ex-wife ever again.  They will learn the truth someday by her actions towards them.

My son sounded like a grown up man.  I didn’t even recognize his voice.  Last I saw him he sounded like a kid still.  It shows how much I’ve missed in this time.

My daughter moved out of their house.  That totally shocked me.  She’s going to a local Community College.  So she seems to have made some good choices which I always knew she would.  She lives with her boyfriend now (but only 5 houses away from my ex-wife’s house).  I’m glad she’s been given some independence and I hope someday she moves on from that town and maybe that state.

I will be getting a home phone number so that I can speak to them.  They both said they wanted to see me soon.  I can’t wait for that to happen.  It will be so bittersweet.

~Nate

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