I figured I’d start my blog off with a bit of controversy.
These are my thoughts about a class I attended the other day. During the class a chart was made to show all of the different kinds of abuse in relationships (physical, verbal, emotional, sexual, etc.).
One of the sections of the chart was labeled “Male Privilege“. Right away, I wondered where the section was for “Female Privilege“. Me being the smart-ass that I am asked the instructor where it was. Her response of course was “IT DOESN’T EXIST!”
Well, that immediately set off the fire-storm of debate among the men attending the class.
Here’s the definition of Male Privilege I found on Wikipedia (they have a page for everything imaginable):
- “Male privilege is a concept for examining social, economic, and political advantages or rights that are made available to men solely on the basis of their sex.”
Yes, it is definitely used by some men as a form of abuse towards women. In the home, in the workplace, and in society. And in no way should it ever be considered acceptable.
But is it as widespread as we are expected to think? I personally don’t believe it is. Women are SMART. Most women wouldn’t put up with such shenanigans anymore. Perhaps in my parent’s generation it was acceptable. But I taught my daughter from the day she was born that she could do and be anything she set her mind to (with hard work of course) and that men were no better than she was. I think most females in today’s society are taught that. It’s taught in schools. It’s preached in the media. Everywhere you look we hear that women are equal to men (they are!). Women fight in combat zones now. The nation is changing for the better in this regard.
This brings me to the other side of the spectrum: Princess Syndrome
The best definition I could find was on Urban Dictionary (the Wikipedia page says it only exists in Asia?):
- An increasingly prevalent condition found primarily in young heterosexual American women. Characterized by (1) unrealistically high expectations; (2) materialistic conduct; (3) a sense of entitlement; (4) exploitative behavior; (5) feelings of superiority; and (6) a lack of regard for society’s rules and mores.
Here’s where I get controversial. If this doesn’t exist as a form of abuse then I must be “crazy”. I endured this form of abuse with my ex-wife for 17 years.
She chose everything. She chose the house. She chose the car. The only friends I was allowed were those “APPROVED” by her (i.e. did she find them attractive?). My hobbies were gone (I wasn’t allowed to spend any of the family’s money). Her shows on television only. Isolation and alienation from my family because she didn’t “APPROVE” of them (come to find out it’s because my sister had seen her at the mall making-out while sitting on the lap of another man and she was afraid my sister was going to tell me…but that’s another story). My money that I earned (I worked multiple jobs…she didn’t work) went to hair, nails, tanning, clothes and expensive vacations of her choosing. If things got tight with bills, I was EXPECTED to sell my belongings (like my 1968 Ford Mustang) to SAVE the family from debt. Every single event or holiday was to cater to her. (Side-note…I remember one of my Birthday’s where she “surprised” me with a limousine to go to Hartford (which I would have never wanted for myself). The real purpose of this surprise birthday trip (for “ME” remember) was to get her brother in bed with one of her friends…it worked perfectly for him, Congratulations!). If she wasn’t getting something out of things (relationships, holidays, etc.) then it wasn’t worth her time.
And ALL of this was an acceptable practice to everyone! If I complained about any of it, I was labeled as an “Abuser” myself from all those in our circle (remember all those in the circle were specifically chosen by her). I was told I was an “Abuser” for not putting up with her abuse. Really? I was told I would destroy the family if I were to leave the toxic relationship for such a silly reason. “Suck-it-Up Buttercup” was what I was told. Men are NOT allowed to say they are being abused by women. It just doesn’t happen. Society will look at the man like he’s “less of a man”.
Men never want to be labeled as “less of a man”. Ever. It’s been burned in our brains from an early age. Fathers, Coaches of sports teams, Drill Instructors in the Military…all will do some form of abuse to a man. Yet, men are never allowed to complain about it. A woman is always expected to say something about every form of abuse. I was a sports coach myself. I spoke to girls on the team different then the boys on the team. During my military service, women were treated better than the men because of fear of abuse claims (One woman while I was in wasn’t getting promoted, so she wrote to her Congressman. She was immediately Promoted! Imagine if a man had done that?). It happens. It exists.
So, why is Princess Syndrome an acceptable practice in today’s society and Male Privilege is not (neither should be)? Seems to me that they are one in the same. Why are the Kardashian women accepted, celebrated and worshiped by society? Why are women taught today that it’s acceptable to act like this? Why does the double-standard exist?
Neither of these should ever exist in any relationship. Relationships should be built on communication, trust, sacrifice (both parties) and compromise. The partners are a TEAM. “Two as One” my father always taught me.
If I offended any of the women out there that don’t practice Princess Syndrome it was not my intention. Comments are most definitely welcome.