Last October I had filed a restraining order against my ex-wife to end her constant harassment once and for all. Little did I know she had a Ace-card up her sleeve.
I showed up at the Courthouse for my scheduled hearing. She showed up shortly before the hearing and I saw her talking to some of the Marshals in the hallway. Didn’t think anything of it.
I enter the court-room at my scheduled time and stand in line to check-in. I then hear my name coming from the back. I turn around and there are 3 Marshals behind me. “You are under arrest.” is all I hear. My entire world comes crashing down in an instant. I had never heard those words in my entire life. I’ve never even had a speeding ticket. I’ve never been arrested. I am hand-cuffed in front of an entire court room of people. I ask them what the charges are. The Marshals refuse to answer my questions.
Where’s my ex I wonder?
They lead me into the hallway where I see her with that evil smug look on her face.
I am led into the elevator and into the basement of the Courthouse. I am searched and all my belongings are taken from me. I am put into a cell still hand-cuffed. They refuse to answer any and all questions from me. I am never read my Miranda Rights from the Marshals. I sit there and wait for hours, hand-cuffed the entire time. No belt, no shoes, no phone and no identification.
3 hours later the cell door is opened. A local police sergeant from my ex-wife’s town takes me out. He leads me to a waiting police cruiser in the loading dock. Again, the sergeant refuses to answer and questions and will not read me my Miranda Rights. I’m handcuffed this entire time as well.
He drives me to the Police Department and I’m brought into the booking area. He passes me on to another officer who is there. This new officer was an absolute shame to the badge. He finally takes off my hand-cuffs and fingerprints me…violently pushing my fingers down on the stamp-pad. I ask him why I was arrested. “You KNOW what you did!” he says. Finally someone answered me! I press for more details. He refuses to answer except to say “You KNOW what you did!”
I asked him if he was going to read me my Miranda Rights. “This isn’t F****** Hollywood!” he answers. I can’t believe any of this is happening. Is this how people are really treated when they are arrested?
My mugshot is taken. Finally I am given a paper to sign with my actual charges. It’s a ‘Promise to Appear’ form. They are letting me go. The charges are Harassment and Threatening in the 2nd degree. Both misdemeanors.
I am released from their custody after hours of booking. The entire time the officer is telling me to “Shut the F*** Up!” when I ask him questions.
I immediately go to the front-desk of the Police Department and ask for the initial Police report of my charges. I still have no idea who filed the charges (Yes, I know it was my ex-wife the whole time) or when the supposed incident happened. The Police Department has absolutely NO RECORD of the initial report or the warrant that was issued. They tell me to come back tomorrow. Tomorrow? That’s strange. Is that so they can produce the report and Warrant overnight?
The next day I am to appear in Court. I ask for a continuance and it’s granted. I return to the Police Department. Mysteriously, the Warrant is finally produced! Convenient I know. I read every single line and it makes me sick to my stomach. The day after Father’s Day (Over 3 months prior) my ex-wife showed the Police one line out of a paragraph text I had sent to her. The text I wrote was that all of her and her families lives were going to change because I was going to report them for all of their criminal activity. None of that was in the Warrant. Only one sentence that my ex-wife had used to play “victim“. Either she fooled them or the Police Officer (female) taking the initial report is really bad at her job. Nothing in the entire text said anything about any physical violence whatsoever.
I was NEVER contacted by the Police Officer who got the Warrant. On the Warrant this Police Officer states that she (female officer) spoke to me personally face-to-face and had me on bodycam. What? This NEVER happened. The Police Department of course destroys all bodycam tapes every three days (that’s their “protocol”). Pretty convenient for them. For 3 months after this Warrant was supposedly issued I am never contacted by anyone from that Police Department. The address is incorrect on the Warrant. My ex-wife knew exactly where I was living and could have told them at anytime.
And IF my ex-wife was fearful for her life and safety, then WHY was I allowed by her during this 3 month period between when the Warrant was supposedly issued and my restraining order hearing against her, to come to her residence to pick up my son for visits? Why was I not arrested any of those times? If a Warrant was in place then why didn’t she call the Police when I arrived at her residence and tell them I’m there? None of this makes sense. I thought she “feared” for her life and safety?
My initial restraining order against her is THROWN OUT because I wasn’t present in court at the appointed time (because I was sitting in a court jail cell). This was her master-plan all along. Get me arrested the day of my hearing so that the hearing would never be heard and she could continue to harass me on a daily basis. She needed that Total Control to continue. It’s her drug.
I hire a lawyer for the first time in my life. I am out of money and I’m begging and borrowing from everyone I know. I meet with him several times and give him copies of all texts, phone records and email exchanges between me and my ex-wife. I give him the ENTIRE text that was written by me to my ex-wife that the Police never saw. I have a binder full of real evidence. I’m feeling good that this will all go away quickly. Little did I know.
I appear in Criminal Court a month later. The Prosecutor asks my lawyer to come up front to speak to him. They sit at a table together. I watch in absolute horror as my lawyer gives the Prosecutor all of my evidence and the Prosecutor REFUSES to look at them and throws them right back at my lawyer. I can’t hear their conversation. Something is very wrong here.
My lawyer returns to where I am sitting in the court room. He tells me that the Prosecutor will ONLY allow me to accept a plea of $100 fine and Mandatory Family Violence classes. I can’t believe this is happening. I have no money because of the outrageous Child-support payments I make and other financial obligations I inherited from the Divorce. I have to agree to this. There’s no way I can drag this on any more. I agree.
The Judge arrives. “All rise”. (It should be “All Bend Over for the Beating you are about to Receive“). After hearing about 15 cases ahead of mine I am called up to the stand. The Prosecutor states to the Judge that I have agreed to the plea deal. The Judge makes his decision. $100 fine and $300 for 9 Mandatory Family Violence classes. The Judge never asks or allows me or my lawyer to speak at all on my behalf. The Judge issues a Protective Order barring me from all contact with my ex-wife and my son!
I now have my “AHA!” moment. The great state of Connecticut needs some money! That’s what this all comes down to. That’s why all evidence was pushed away by the Prosecutor! I just paid a lawyer $2000 to get the exact same result I would have got if I represented myself. And now I have to pay the State $400 before I am allowed to even leave the Courthouse.
So, because of false allegations (a text message that was never read in it’s entirety) I now have a record and have to pay the state of Connecticut more of my hard-earned tax-paying money. Because of a fake text message the Court and the State have taken away my rights as a father to see my son. They have joined my ex-wife in the abuse of my son. They are enablers to child-abuse just like her entire family.
The best thing that has come out of this entire situation is that my ex-wife has hurt herself more than me. She MUST have absolute CONTROL over me. She thrives on CONTROL. It’s all she ever thinks about. She will destroy anybody that disagrees with her or gets in the way of her lifestyle. She thought that she would with the arrest (so that my restraining order hearing would never be heard and she would get away with harassing me on a regular basis). But unbeknownst to her, the Judge issued a Protective Order also. So no matter how many times she tried to contact me in any way, I could not respond to her whatsoever or I would go to jail. This year has been the first year in almost 20 years that I have not seen her face or heard her voice. It’s been awesome. She has finally given up contacting me. She can’t have any control over me anymore. She can’t tell me what to do. She can’t demand “HER” money (she calls child-support “HER” money).
I am finally Free. I am finally Free from her and all of her Control. Karma will be coming for her soon.
~Nate
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